Punches 750 ml bottle of cheap rum
3 liters any flavor bottle of cheap soda
Map
Africa
Travel
Two shoe salespeople were
sent to Africa
to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one
salesperson
called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next
flight.
Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the
other salesperson sent an email to the factory,
telling "The
prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
A man walks into a bar and
says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them
both now or one at a time?" The guy
says," Oh, I want them both
now. One's for me and one's for this
little guy here," and he pulls
a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He
can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender
pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks
it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can
he
walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the
bar and says, "Hey,
Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to
the end of the bar and
picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down
and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock.
"That's amazing" he says, "what
else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time w
e
were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's
powers!"
What's the difference between
an African
elephant and an Indian elephant ?
About 3,000 miles !
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager." William S. Burroughs
Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. Ralph Waldo Emerson
For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum. J. W. Schopf