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Africa
Travel
An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor:
"This
dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did
you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and
the guide told me that the dinosaur is
two billion years old."
There once was a blind man who decided to visit
Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
"Wow,
these seats are big!" The person next to him answered,
"Everything is
big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he
decided to visit a bar. Upon
arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer
and got a mug placed between his
hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these
mugs are big!" The bartender replied,
"Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where
the
bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to
the
right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally
tripped over
and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the
third door, which
lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by
accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,
"Don't flush, don't
flush!"
One day there was a family driving in the
car to Michigan to
visit their relatives. They were looking for the
street they had to turn on
to get to their relatives house. They
accedently turned on the wrong
street so they had to pull in a
driveway and turn around. When they
pulled into the driveway the girl
asked her mother "Why dont these people
have electricity?" Very
confused the mother said, "Wut are u talking
about?" The girl quickly
replied, "Well, the sign back there said NO
OUTLET!"
Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river. Haitian Proverb
He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses. Horace
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim". Lyndon B. Johnson